What's the Score?
Power (& Peace) in Contented Ascendence
What's the score? If you're like me, that question has been playing on repeat for most of your life, the countdown clock ticking relentlessly in the background. Whether in my career, educational or athletic pursuits, I constantly felt behind - never quite enough in the moment. The Siren's "What's Next?" chorus refused to fade, urging me to rush onward towards the awaiting promotion, new client, degree or race result sitting just out of reach as the tick, tick, tick of the clock grew ever louder.
Sure, we can blame parents, managers, or society as a whole - but ultimately, we chose to step onto this field, knowing full well the rules of the game. We inherently knew the data indicating our outcomes are elevated by surrounding ourselves with other high performers (we become the 5 people with whom we spend the most time) and leaned in. While doing so, we're aware the happiness literature indicates it isn't our circumstances (money, fitness, career, etc.) but rather our comparison to those around us - precisely what a "score" represents! - that drives the perception we hold about our lives. We thus find ourselves stuck with the binary choice between going big (surround ourselves with top performers and get to work) or going home (lay low and ignore the scoreboard), with no middle ground. We chose between shooting for the moon, knowing we're simply increasing the treadmill's incline and hoping it'll be worth it in the end... or trading our running shoes for slippers, hitting the couch and binging Netflix.
But what if this binary choice - relentless striving or disengagement - misses the deeper opportunity? What if there is another way? There is: Contented Ascendence. Yes that's a new phrase, and no - I haven't figured it out yet. However, perhaps we can explore this option together to provide a foundation on which we can move forward through life's second half.
Life, fully lived, necessitates an upward aim. Our aim then creates the frame through which we view the world and our role in that world. For some, the ultimate upward aim is encapsulated in the concept of God. For others, such aim may focus on a non-theistic but interestingly phrased "higher calling." Could it be, upon closer examination, these two are not as diametrically opposed as our binary thinking habits cause us to initially assume? Interestingly, in both the biblical text and Jewish tradition, God's name YHWH is a verb - not a noun. A verb! A word expressing action, an identity rooted in the Hebrew verb "to be" rather than a list of rules "to do." If this idea of a higher aim resonates, you're in good company. Some of the greatest thinkers of the past two centuries explored a similar concept, one rooted in possibility. FWJ Schelling and Soren Kierkegaard described God as an unfolding reality, whose will was defined by the possible, an exploration of potential. Even Friedrich Nietzsche, who famously announced "God Is Dead" in 1844, would likely have been on board with such a calling, a calling we will contextualize in this word "Ascendence."
While not commonly recognized as a standard English word, ascendence has been used poetically to represent a blending of transcendence (going beyond limits) and ascendancy (rising upward). Think of the difference between a mentor who uplifts others through wisdom (ascendence) versus a boss who climbs the corporate ladder by overpowering others (ascendance). In contrast to the power-centric meaning of the more traditional spelling, this modification brings a new perspective to the forefront, including but not limited to:
Intellectual and Spiritual Elevation - rising above our felt limitations while striving (put a pin in that word - we'll return to it shortly) for a higher level of awareness or consciousness
Expanded influence resulting from greater wisdom and understanding, rather than power
A state of perpetual, ongoing growth - a dynamic, transformative progression - rather than a static aim or destination
While "ascendence" provides a valuable starting point, it is incomplete in isolation. The striving (there's that word again) often associated with upward aim is frequently accompanied by comparison and score-keeping, diverting our focus away from our upward aim and toward our status among others, moving us off course. Ascendence (with an "e") can thus easily flip back into ascendance (with an "a"), and we become lost in our struggle to dominate or control. Enter the consequential qualifier: contented.
I don't know about you, but I've always hated that word. While its value is highlighted throughout neuroscience and positive psychology research (dopamine and serotonin levels), Stoicism and Buddhism (path to inner peace), behavioral economics (hedonic treadmill concepts), and scripture (godliness with contentment is great gain), the word still made me cringe. Contented? Never! That's giving up! However, as we often discover, hatred - even of a word - is usually tied to a lack of understanding, which is precisely what had happened with me regarding this concept. Contentment in its proper context is hardly a lazy settling for the status quo. Rather, it stems from the Greek word autarkeia, meaning having enough within oneself.
Boom! How is this concept of Contented Ascendence resonating now, my high performing friends?
A conversation author Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse Five) had with Joseph Heller at a wealthy hedge fund manager's home on Shelter Island sheds some valuable additional light on this concept. Vonnegut remarked that the host had earned more money in a single day than Heller would earn in his lifetime from his wildly successful book (Catch-22, seen by many as one of top books ever written). Heller responded "Yes, but I have something he will never have... enough."
Enough. The heartbeat of contented ascendence. But only when existing in tandem. Nature provides us a similar model of such dualistic harmony...
When lightning strikes a sandy beach, the heat has the potential to fuse the silica to the sand, forming fulgerites, or fossilized lightning, a fragile, glass-like structure capturing the moment of the lightning's impact in a beautiful, twisting formation. Contentment alone is inert. Ascendence alone can be chaotic. But together, our sandy beaches of contentment, sparked by the lightning of ascendence, create a unique and incomparable addition to the world - one only we can become.
Within this becoming lies the possibility, the unfolding reality forming the catalyst of a life fully lived! We are made for the journey - not the arrival. While our brains evolved to make and keep us comfortable, our spirit must battle for (the often uncomfortable) possibility - the daily courage to (contentedly) be! Failure is not an option? Then neither is growth. However, as we move the (pass/fail) scoreboard to the margins, we are freed up to recognize the nutrient-dense soil on which we stand.
What's the score? Life's 2nd half offers the opportunity to see the horizon beyond the scoreboard, the purpose in the possibilities, and the contented perspective about the role of any potential score in the bigger, much more important, picture of the life fully lived.
Contented ascendence. An upward aim with no scoreboard in sight.