Retreat Forward

Life’s real adventure begins as we move beyond ourselves

Somehow, we’ve fallen for it. We’ve allowed the mediocrity mindset to pervade what once was the heartbeat of fully living. Rather than accessing its intended springboard, we’ve turned down time into a downward spiral. We’ve flipped the intended purpose of life’s retreats into a passive escape from reality.

In the process, we’ve simultaneously capsized one of life’s most notable retreats - retirement - from being the intended spark for renewed contribution into a separation from responsibilities. On a more micro level, our time away from work (weekends, vacations, off-hours) has also morphed from preparation to passivity. While there’s absolutely a time and a place for a little R ‘n R, it’s certainly not all the time nor is it every place.

Martin Buber, in his 1923 classic I & Thou, identifies two different approaches to stepping outside our daily rhythms, responsibilities and routines…

Option A involves treating those periods as a source of clarification and honesty. It’s not an escape - it’s a time of preparation for relationship, responsibility and action. This expresses the ontological meaning of the word ‘retreat’ - an intentional, active oriented strategy that assumes - is built to further enhance - our return.

By contrast, option B involves a pulling back from relation (both other people and life as a whole). It’s a place where we stop engaging with anything outside ourselves. It is a cutting off from encounter, responsibility and the very real presence of others. This isn’t retreat - it’s running away; fleeing from a life of meaning, purpose and deeper engagement.

Modern life points us to the second option and then fills the resultant vacuum with passive activities that entirely miss the mark. As our schedules garner enhanced flexibility through life’s second half, we’re simultaneously instructed to “stay busy” and “take it easy.” Huh? You’re telling me the goal is to fill up my days but avoid cognitive, physiological and philosophical rigor? To spend the available time, while avoiding investing in the essence of life itself?!?

A different approach to (p)retirement?

Intriguingly (perhaps surprisingly?), retirement and retreat share the same root word origin: In Old French, retirer; in Latin re-tirare/retrahere. Inherent in both was an assumption of return, not abandon. Our modern society generally understands the value of well-timed work, personal or spiritual retreats. They provide an opportunity to step outside daily pressures and distractions to allow deeper reflection, focus and planning (for the purpose of a more meaningful and valued return). Retirement (or pre-tirement for those in life’s 2nd half with growing flexibility)? Not so much. Conversations center on escape rather than engagement - on comfort over contribution.

Yes - relaxing downtime is good. It’s necessary within life’s flow. Rest is one of the Catalyst Cornerstones (Move/Fuel/Rest/Connect) for a reason. Taking an intentional step back is valuable, not as an escape but as a preparation for our call to adventure. Despite what the cruise ship marketers may suggest, real adventure calls us OUT of our comfort and is unrelated to 24/7 smorgasbords and drinks on demand. By all means - enjoy the cruise, the ski vacation, the spa weekend. Simply remain cognizant that the REAL adventure begins out beyond ourselves - not while we’re busy stuffing ourselves.

Ok Brad - we get it. Living fully in life’s second half isn’t about couches and cocktails. But I have no idea what this “call to adventure” might be? Where do I even start?

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) there’s no one-size-fits-all prescription or 3-step plan available. We are each unique in our being and our life. But there is a posture that elevates our likelihood of hearing such a call, which takes us back to the retreat.

A retreat could involve a weekend away from the distractions and pressures of daily life. But it also might simply involve sitting quietly on the beach, by the fire or at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in hand. It could occur while on a walk, looking out the window on a flight home, or sitting on a park bench.

Remember the initial definition of retreat? An intentional, active oriented strategy that assumes - is built to further enhance - a return. This doesn’t necessitate leaving town or googling nearby conferences. Rather - it can start right where you’re sitting. Move away from your computer, close your eyes... and listen. We’re listening not for planes, trains and automobiles but rather that still small voice. What we receive in that moment is likely to be more presence than content. More revealing than defining. It is a call - not a demand. A blossoming opportunity - not a requirement.

In that moment, meaning comes forth as a way of life rather than a destination. “The question about the meaning of life vanishes. Nothing can henceforth be meaningless” (Buber). And that meaning wants to be - must be - born into the world by and through us!

We (temporarily) step away in order to lean in... listen deeply... and allow it to fill us for the awaiting adventure.

Because we’re not done yet.

PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the latest release here or the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.