Passively Ever After
A New Chapter Awaits - If We Pick Up the Pen
Big news! The new podcast - Not Done Yet! Purpose & Possibilities Through Life’s Second Half launches this week. Trailer available here!!
Once upon a time - not so long ago - the (potential) hero went to work, came home, sat on the couch, and lived passively ever after...
Passivity... the telltale sign we’ve settled in for the warm, winter’s nap of status quo’s mediocrity through life’s second half. However, it hardly stops there. Passivity is the drifting ship... seeking pitiful comfort... becoming an empty vessel. And most days - it doesn’t feel dramatic. It just feels normal. However, it’s a signal that while we may still be breathing - we stopped living long ago.
The great thinkers knew the dangers accompanying - not risk - but passivity. They viewed it not simply as laziness, but the very essence of moral, physical, cognitive, and spiritual failure. Failure! A word whose very etymology originally pointed toward a deficiency. Passivity indicates we’re missing something important.
Before you start that email to me about the importance of similar-sounding words like stillness or peacefulness, realize those are active - not passive - approaches to life’s challenges. Passivity isn’t just laziness. It’s what Nietzsche called a “Will to Nothingness” - a refusal of Kierkegaard’s “Leap of Faith” - the essence of what Tillich described as non-being. Even scripture’s urging to “wait upon the Lord” is an active, expectant, aligning and listening approach to life.
Yet - for most - passivity reigns supreme. As I engage with individuals across the country about life’s second half journey, their eyes light up, their hearts expand, and they identify a multitude of ways in which they might step into awaiting opportunities. But far too often, the spark is quenched, drowned by over weighted risks along with the safety and comfort of long-expired excuses.
The safety and comfort of expired excuses. That one might be worth a bit more exploration as a first-half dragon that long ago lost its flame. In spite of the dragon’s withered state, we (yes - I’m there with you) consistently allow it to trap us in a labyrinth of our own making, cutting us off from our call to adventure.
The call - whether large or small - awaits each of us. It’s always there... waiting... knocking. We feel the vibration of opportunity, but then immediately reach into our trusty bag of excuses for a shield of protection - a shield allowing us to continue on our passive pathway to nowhere. “I have to work...” “It’s too expensive...” “My knees are bad...” “I’m too busy...”
I’ve heard them all. Heck - I’ve used most of them! Sure - these may have rung at least partially true at one point in time. Do they still apply? Maybe. But often, when we take a closer look, we discover the realities of life’s first half (when working 60 hour weeks, raising a family, commuting regularly, watching every penny, etc.) are no longer applicable - or at least don’t carry the same weight as they once did.
Which leaves us with the comfort aspect of our expired excuses. Have we come to lean on the “easy out” we previously created? Have our first-half reasons given us a ready-made cloak of invisibility for more couch and screen time - or simply more status quo and less status GO? Are we reaching back in time and missing out on the path forward?
Mark Twain reminded us the individual “who does not read has no advantage over the one who cannot read.” He might have said the same about our approach to writing our own story (and if he wouldn’t, I will). Choice unused is indistinguishable from no choice at all. No - we don’t control every aspect of our lives. No - we cannot take full credit for where we are in life. But yes - our choices, decisions and actions do matter. They are instrumental in writing our story.
But it’s up to us, if we choose, to pick up the pen.
What dragon has long since lost its flame in our lives - yet continues to hold us captive? Maybe it’s time we take hold of the pen, look out over the horizon, and start a new chapter with the words; “You’ll never guess what happened next...”
Now THAT is a story I’ll look forward to reading - and one you might enjoy writing too. It’s a story, my friends, that shifts mediocrity to meaning, box-checking to big dreams, and passivity to purpose. And in the process, our community, our world becomes a better place because we made an active decision that we’re not... done... yet!