The Drift

How apathy disguises itself as ease — and how to find your way back

Am I taking myself seriously?

Real question.

It started - oddly enough - with an online chess match. I was “playing” - moving the pieces. But I was more intent on moving a piece than on making the best move. I was participating, but I wasn’t engaged. Missed opportunities, reacting vs. strategizing, and focused on what’s “next” rather than what’s “now.”

Sound familiar?

Yeah - the irony of the game (non) strategy wasn’t lost on me. I realized it wasn’t limited to the stage of sixty-four squares. It was a much broader pattern of living; an apathy disguised as “relaxed” slowly seeping in...

• Seeping into my work, allowing AI to do my thinking rather than enhancing my outcomes.

• Seeping into my running by cutting corners with strength or interval training.

• Seeping into my friendships by substituting a text message for lunch, coffee or a conversation.

• Seeping into my marriage by treating someone extraordinary like our time is ordinary.

It shows up in what I wear, how I schedule, how I handle potential distractions, the way I treat my body (move/fuel/rest), my interactions with others, my preparation for the day’s opportunities, and so much more.

Am I taking myself seriously? Am I tuning in and giving my all to select pursuits? Or am I coasting on the energy of the past and missing out on what awaits around the bend?

We shouldn’t take ourselves ‘too’ seriously, you say? Ok - but let’s be honest: that’s rarely the problem. That’s the ghost of the high school ‘cool kids’ who convinced us that caring too much would affect our standing in their group. By now, we’ve realized it was never a group worth joining.

What if we did give our best effort toward specific pursuits? What if we did take ourself seriously, fully step onto the path, lean into the awaiting opportunity and go all in? Yes - we might fail. But full engagement makes for a great life. And, when we step back, we realize it’s the difference between existing and living.

Tip-toeing, holding back, acting nonchalant may follow the status quo encouraged by those around us - essentially the updated version of those “cool kids” who never ended up accomplishing much with their lives. What if - just for today - we tried the alternative: All in.

While our path may not end in a checkmate, the “all in” engagement changes the game. A game that, win or lose, reminds the world we’re not... done... yet!