Aim High, Aim True

Ageless Wisdom for Life's Transitions

One of the most intriguing aspects within life’s 2nd half journey is the ownership of - and thus responsibility for - the target of our aim. The 1st half of life can be a string of (at least somewhat) predefined targets. School, sports, relationships, careers, finances. We choose, or are set upon, a general path, learn the rules of the game, make the necessary sacrifices defined and directed by others, and move through the process. Ups and downs certainly exist, but the pathway itself generally follows a somewhat predetermined trend line.

Then, as we enter the 2nd half of life - if we're fortunate - everything changes. The instruction manual provided (imposed?) by parents, teachers, coaches, managers, clients and others no longer applies. We now have options - precisely what we've always said we wanted - but with those options, our chosen aim falls squarely on our shoulders. What now?

The status quo response is to relax. After spending a lifetime on the expectations-driven treadmill, additional couch (or beach) time understandably sounds attractive. For most, gravity then takes over and Newton's 1st law of motion kicks in: A body remains at rest, or continues moving in a straight line at a constant speed unless acted upon by an external force. In real world terms, it becomes more and more difficult to get off the proverbial couch with each passing day. But that's not you. You're not done yet! The couch has only limited appeal for you as you traverse this 2nd half of life. The struggle forms in the vacuum created in merging of multiple options while lacking a clear aim. Our calling is to aim high (moving beyond status quo) and aim true (authentically living out who we uniquely are).

I'm struggling with this options-induced vacuum myself right now. The clarity of aim that existed just weeks ago has vanished. Coming off the annual vision exercise we discussed in the prior article, I had begun designing my specific, soon-to-launch 500-day map, encompassing a clear aim over the next 18 months. But then, unexpectedly, the final foundational element crumbled, launching additional critical reflection, and the prior map no longer applied. In the process, I’ve found myself drifting... passing the time, spending (vs. investing) my days in activities but lacking the higher aim that leads to fully living. Sound familiar?

As noted in The Funnel article that launched this journey together, I don't have the answers. I'm on this journey with you, gathering evidence-based and generational insights, applying them personally and then filtering out the most valuable, practical elements as we chart this path through the second half of life together. Since I don't have "the" answers for you (or me, for that matter) at this stage, I thought it might be of value to gather related treasures of ageless wisdom/guidance from others, accompanied with some modern-day practical application. So let’s jump in…

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Existentialism - Theologian and existentialist philosopher Paul Tillich reminds us Being (fully living) has Nonbeing (settling) always existing within itself. Living creatively conquers our natural, eternal desire to settle for the status quo and is the source of what he calls the courage to (fully) be. When feeling stuck in Nonbeing (in which creativity is transferred into indifference), it is easy to sacrifice our freedom to tribes or charismatic leaders to escape the (temporary) anxiety of meaninglessness. In doing so, meaning is (externally) provided, but the self is sacrificed. Our aim is no longer true (to who we are).

• Application: Uncertainty and (even temporary) lack of a true aim is uncomfortable. The easy answer is to grasp onto the guidance of familiar tribes, losing our true self and what we can uniquely bring to the world in the process. For me, there are a multitude of current and former tribes in my life with ready-made answers for what I "should" do going forward. But "should" is just another word for something someone else sees as valuable for my life but I have not yet adopted it as my own. Thoughts and even potential considerations from those within these groups may indeed be of value, providing an additional color option on our personal palette of living creatively. But in our rush to garner meaning in our journey, we cannot make the mistake of adopting someone else's ready-made palette as our own.

Being (fully living) has Nonbeing (settling) always existing within itself. Living creatively conquers our natural, eternal desire to settle for the status quo and is the source of the courage to be.

-Paul Tillich

Buddhism - The Chinese parable of a farmer brings broad-based perspective to our often knee-jerk responses to the ups & downs of life. He receives ongoing congratulations or condolences from friends based on apparently “good” or “bad” occurrences: His horse runs away (sympathy)... his son finds the horse plus new horses (congrats!)... son breaks arm training new horse (sympathy)... Regardless of what happens, his response is neither celebration nor sadness. Instead, he replies (to each one) with "could be bad, could be good." In the final scene, the military comes to draft all able bodied young men for the war. The son's injury keeps him home, bringing the roller-coaster full circle. It’s a powerful reminder that labeling something as good or bad in the moment is useless when we're unable to see the bigger picture.

• Application: My immediate response to the disappointment was to be... well... disappointed. That's ok. Completely natural. And yet - as we zoom out, we often notice a pattern of discovering unrealized and even positively life-shifting fruit growing in the midst of the initial disappointment. When I think back on many of my most treasured path-shifters in life (e.g., discovering physical therapy, meeting Suzanna, starting our business), they all occurred on the heels of immense disappointments. It's too raw at the moment, but in the days and weeks ahead, keeping my eyes open to potential opportunities that may have been blocked by my previously focused tunnel vision may indeed open the door to unexpected new paths.

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Spartans - While there are plenty of Spartan traditions we probably don't want to follow, there is one key aspect from which we can form a cornerstone habit in the face of an uncertain future: physical preparation. The Spartans didn't know what battles awaited them, when they would occur or with whom. They did know the battles were coming - and they prepared rigorously for those. As a result, they faced the uncertainty with the certainty they would be physically primed and ready when the time came.

• Application: While I may shift my competitive focus as an athlete from year to year, ANY meaningful pursuit in this 2nd half of life will benefit from focused, physical training. And I absolutely do mean "any." Regardless of where the path leads, from family activities to community involvement, high-end racing to entrepreneurial pursuits - EVERY adventure benefits from bolstering our strength and fitness. I may adjust the specific focus of my fitness pursuits (e.g., trading some high volume cardio for additional speed work, plyometrics and strength/power training). Such shifts, while not targeting any specific outcome, will not only benefit my overall physical & cognitive abilities, but will also assure I am ready for any metaphorical battle, chosen or otherwise, that awaits around the bend.

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Stoicism - Speaking of preparation, Stoic philosopher Seneca noted "Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor strengthens the body." The Stoics saw the trait of virtue (interweaving courage, wisdom, justice and temperance) as central to a meaningful life. Periods of uncertainty provide an opportunity to examine and enhance each of these elements and more - if we’re willing to deeply reflect.

• Application: As we move through this re-visioning process, it's easy (natural) to lean on our prior strengths and default pursuits while simultaneously neglecting blindspots in other areas. The physical preparation noted previously is a valuable cornerstone, regardless of the path we end up traversing, but it doesn't stand alone. As I pause to consider the map forward in this journey, it's also a valuable time to consider broader aspects that may have been neglected.

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Christianity - In the New Testament, Jesus reminds his followers to let our unique gifts shine brightly rather than hiding them under a bowl (Luke 11:33). His disciple Peter later builds on this, reminding readers to use our unique gifts to serve others (I Peter 4:10). As we peer into the felt void of available but foggy options, potentially discouraged about recent events, it can make sense to cast a wide net, opening ourselves up to new options. However, in the process of doing so, don’t drift into the current of simply following the crowd or the generally acceptable path. Instead, consider how our unique gifts, revealed and developed over years or even decades, might play a central role. Rather than "hiding them under a bowl," perhaps there's a new way to integrate these inherent gifts into our new path as we look to serve those around us.

• Application: My faith journey has been an important aspect of all aspects of my life. As such, it's natural to view certain activities (e.g., missions or traditional ministry) as the "best" way to proceed. However, scripture is clear that while we are all called to serve others, the way in which that plays itself out is unique to each of us. The question thus is no longer "am I doing the correct activity?" but rather "am I serving others through my unique gifts?" Don't cast aside your unique gifts or ignore your heart sparks to do something others will see as a more typically faith-aligned role (or similar “rules” created by your own community).

Shakespeare’s words ring true: All the world is indeed a stage, and we are the players, entering and exiting throughout. Yet, the 7 life stages he then identifies contain endless costume changes, with a script that may seem - at least in the moment - to be lacking. It’s during those periods to remember potential new steps comprise a t-shirt, not a tattoo. Liz Brown, a Catalyst Coaching team member, coined this to remind clients of the flexibility surrounding potential behavior changes. When we tune into the continuing pliability of any step forward, when we realize it’s the “next” step (t-shirt) rather than the “forever” step (tattoo), the perceived pressure is dialed back and the freedom gates opened wide. As we consider a potential new vision for our future, we are free to try it on, wear it around for awhile and see how it fits. Wrong color? Wrong fit? No problem - exchange it! Such freedom (as long as we avoid blowing up the bridge along the way), allows exploration across a range of options outside of our traditional zone of comfort to determine whether our aim is true (uniquely us).

As we journey this 2nd half of life, the script may be smudged, the discouragement running high, the clarity lacking. That is precisely the time to pause, reflect, establish a solid footing, and fix our aim. Yes - it’s far easier to shake our head, sit back, settle in, and let others determine our path. But that’s not what we’re here to do. We’re not done yet, and with each step forward, the chaos settles, our vision of the horizon clears, we stand firm, aim high and aim true.